Top Ten List
( 242 Comments )
Just for fun, why don’t we engage in a little exercise.
Let’s make a top-ten list of all the stupid things that have happened to us as a result of HIV, if could be telling someone you’re positive and he suddenly gets the urge to head out and buy a pack of smokes never to return again, to whatever.
Hmmm, what can I say on this subject?
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March 3, 2009 06:09 PM
I’ve been positive since 1985. I was 21 and a virgin. Going to the U of T, I did not see any HIV prevention campaigns. They were going on in the gay community of which I was not yet a member. So, I guess the first stupid thing I encountered or did not encounter were the AIDS prevention efforts of the public health department which targeted the gay community, only 2 blocks away from the U of T campus where I was but it might as well have been a world away.
The second stupid thing that happened to me was when I answered a classified ad in the Toronto Star. Gay male, 34 yrs old looking for other masculine, athletic male. No one nighters. I thought that an older gay man could teach me about gay sex which I knew I had to try before deciding if I was truly gay or not. The AIDS prevention efforts of the time, the Numbers campaign, urged gay men to reduce the number sexual partners they had, hence, my classified connection was following the public health guidelines when he sought, no one nighters.
The third stupid thing that happened was something I did. I trusted my classified connection when he said it was safe not to use condoms as long as he didn’t come inside me.
Since then there have been literally hundreds of stupid things that have happened to me because I am positive. I’ve been spied on at work, lost my job, been perscribed toxic medications, kicked out of gay bars because of cronic fatigue, lost lovers and friends to AIDS, lost lovers because I would’t have unsafe sex with them, I’ve met people who want to swap loads with no questions asked…
HIV stigma is my life.
February 24, 2009 08:47 AM
Murray, I’ve had that too. I remember when I used to work for public health in the 80s for the AIDS/STD line. It was during the time that Magic Johnson hoopla about him being positive. One caller said, “But he’s such a handsome, talented, and intelligent man.”
You could have heard my eyes roll over the phone. As if we’re all ugly, and dumb as a bag of hammers, and are losers.
February 17, 2009 07:55 PM
For various reasons, I started to disclose in the baths which was the one situation where I had chosen not to previously (this was years ago). I almost always caught people by surprise by disclosing and the rejection varied significantly which for the most part, I didn’t care too much about. A couple of top situations were 1) disclosing and then having to spend the next 30 minutes answering questions about HIV, transmission and basically doing HIV 101 to a young guy and 2) disclosing and having the person say “But you’re so handsome.” I had to laugh.
February 16, 2009 05:13 AM
Well its not a stupid thing but after reading the blogs on this site and having over a decade and a half of rejection myself due to being HIV+ I have built Bio Pride Design and spent my savings on trying something new to change the face of HIV stigma.
Check it out.
http://www.biopridedesign.com.au
All the very best, read thru my site I do rave on but then again I am hear I am queer and I have no fear.
Jamie
February 11, 2009 11:32 AM
I don’t really have hillarious stories, however I do think the constant patting on my stomach is one of them. But at least it’s been by important people like the former Australian supreme court judge, and the CEO of Boehringer Ingelheim.
“You don’t look disabled” is another one.
I’ve had incredible experiences in Rwanda, South Africa, in particular. I feel blessed because many of the things we have discussed on this site, really do not happen to me, and if they do, it’s pretty rare.
One of my worst experiences was having a guy meltdown on the beaches of St. Martin because he sucked my dick. He asked some weird question sometime earlier thinking that this indirect answer was going to give him my status.
It was horrible to watch someone have a complete meltdown. I never why guys so paranoid engage in casual sex. They should be dating, getting to know people etc. Once again, guys feeling they can do whatever they want, and it’s out responsibility to get out of their way.
Best disclose: My father via the Ce Soir news show as I had done a series of interviews, and my father was married to a francophone who recorded the show and brought it to my father’s wife at the time. That’s what you get when you only hear from your dad on Christmas and birthdays.
I can’t seem to get into the blog at the moment to add another post. So bare with me.
February 11, 2009 11:19 AM
Brian, I’ll give you three highlights (one bad experience, two good) :
1. Being taught how to inject myself with Fuzeon - in the thigh or in the stomach - when I’m so needle phobic I can’t even look at a needle without going squidgy. How I managed doing that for three years, I’ll never know. And I’m still needle-phobic.
2. Being in Mexico City for the 2008 International AIDS Conference and seeing not only our beloved then -health minister Tony Clement make an ass of himself (yay!) , but also watching and being incredibly moved by the Human Rights march, which I believe you took part in.
3. Participating in this campaign. Honestly, it’s been one of the most enjoyable and rewarding learning experiences I think in my whole life.
February 10, 2009 01:51 PM
I guess I am really lucky so far. On one hand, my sense of self and relationship to my body and mortality feel altered. And I feel, very acutely, all the hate and judgment and stigma dumped onto us HIVers by society in general and gay men in particular.
But otherwise, I have not had too many bad things happen as a result of seroconverting. My partner still loves and accepts me. I have a gay doctor with a lot of HIV experience. I have not experienced any overt physical health problems as a result of being positive yet, and am not on meds yet either.
None of that means what has happened is trivial. I didn’t want this to happen and had successfully avoided it for a long time. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else and I do wish it hadn’t happened to me. Sometimes I fear that maybe I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop and all kinds of bad stuff to appear in my life. But I’m doing okay so far.
I’ve been trying to look at it this way. Either this is a horrible and drastic change, or it isn’t. So far, in practical terms, it isn’t. So I need my emotional response to match that reality. If my life is not a mess over this, I can’t think and act as if it is. The material circumstances of my life now are not really too different from before, so I need to try and have the same positive attitude about my life that I did before.
February 7, 2009 03:23 PM
a week ago. i was meeting a guy for 2 weeks and i started feeling unconfortable because i wanted to tell him how possitive i am. so i open myself and i talk to him. he took it very mature and was not a big deal for him. so, we get to my place and make love, wow so nice… he spent the night and we took breakfast toguether. and next thing i ´ve heard from him was 3 days later, an sms telling me he was distracted with his worrys. at least i had him yesterday night but again he is going to do the same thing.
so, first everything ok, and 8 hours later deapear