Feb 24/09 What will the future be like?
It’s been a hectic last couple of weeks. I was overly preoccupied by a week where things going wrong, and costing me a lot of money overtook my attention. In addition, I headed out to New York last weekend on a pilgrimage to see my comedic hero, Kathy Griffin.
It will come to no surprise for anyone who’s been following me in this campaign, but when it’s all said and done, laughter is my best friend. I love to laugh. I love to find the humour, especially at comedy that pushes boundaries. If someone can make me laugh, I’m in love.
And for two and half hours with front row seats, I was indeed in love. We live with so much heaviness in our lives. There is no doubt this is what got me through the days when there were no effective treatments.
Our friends and lovers were dying as if we were in the midst of a war. It was the one thing that bonded me to my grandmother, her having survived the WWII, and me, in the losing people around me.
I was an ill equipped twenty-two year old who barely knew what it was like to be an adult let alone face what felt like all encompassing death. Even my doctor killed herself while on duty at the St. Boniface Hospital a few months after my test.
So here we are today, it makes me wonder what it will be like in another twenty years.
Will the gay community have come together, or completely split apart? What will have happened to this criminalization trend? Will HIV negative guys ever figure out they play a role in this apart from sero-sorting, and that their behaviour also contributes to raising infection rates? What will the treatments look like? Maybe it will be simply getting a shot once a year, a vaccine?
What do you think?
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Hi Elliot,
You make some great points. When you think that what was considered to be almost unimaginable 20 years ago exists to day. It’s not perfect by any means, but it’s a hell of a lot better today than it was back then. So there are things we can dream of as being unimaginable come true as well. In that sense I can only see it as getting better. When we see therapies that are attacking this infection unlike every before there will be less criminalization.
This is an infection of the people of the world that folks just generally care about. As long as the fags, junkie, whores, promiscuous, the poor, the blacks, hispanics, the Africans etc etc. Hopefully there will have been some heady way in having a better global consciousness. I’m pessimistic on this one, but I can hope.
As for homophobia, slowly it gets better. But as long as there are straight men and religious zealots out there, it will thrive and be well.
I’m sad too to see the campaign come to a close. I will address this in my next post.
To wrap up, to me, the one thing I’ve learned from living with HIV for so long, and that is dare to dream, but the impossible just may happen.
February 25, 2009 06:11 PM
Brian,
Congrats on seeing KG and thanks for sharing this posting, it was intensely personal. As to your questions about the future, I see things only getting better. Surely they can get no worst. It is interesting to hear about your struggles 20 years ago, of people dying around you and the sort. Having recently been infected I do not have to face these realities today. I have, indeed, already had my share of friends die from the disease, but it is by no means a war. Today HIV is a manageable long term condition, the battle we face is internal. We face issues like criminalization and stigma, none of which is caused by the virus itself - ironic isn’t it?
Where will we be in 20 years? I think this dark chapter in our history will be over. I am hopeful and optimistic that a therapeutic vaccination will be around the corner. All the leading scientist agree that it is just a matter of time. However, we will always face challenges of one sort or another. Our incessant self-hatred manifested in such terms as “straight acting” and our lack of acceptance is a hurdle that may take another couple of generations to overcome. My real hope, however, is that this community who seems so incapable of learning, will have garnered an important lesson from all of this.
I will miss you Brian now that this is almost over. You are on my facebook, do keep in touch.
E