Is there opportunity in challenge?
I don’t think HIV stigma, or any other stigma for that matter is something that you can oppose in order to stop. To me it’s like waging a war to end a war, it can often be self-defeating. However I believe that HIV-stigma and related oppressions like racism, sexism, and homophobia can be worked through, in open discussion. It has me think of SuperMario Brothers. In the old game, there were these ghost characters that only came to life if your character didn’t face them head on. Stigma for me, operates the same way. Just speaking about it, facing it head on, begins to stop it in it’s tracks. That’s one of the most productive components of this site, these discussions. From time to time however, discussions can be silenced. Not always intentionally, but none the less, eventually. I get how that can happen. HIV is such a personal and emotional topic in the gay community. We all have a relationship to it whether HIV-negative or HIV-positive, it triggers so much in each one of us. Even as a facilitator I have found myself challenged by some of the things being said on the site from both community members, and at times even from other facilitators. That’s okay though. Challenge is more than okay, if we approach it in ways that while not necessarily having us all agree, at least have us better understand one another. That all being said, I guess my question then is this; Is understanding always possible as it relates to HIV and HIV-stigma given this difference in the lived experience of HIV-positive and negative men? Are there too many layered walls between us (defensiveness, resentment, blame etc.) , for HIV-negative guys and HIV-positive guys to completely understand where each other is coming from?
Tags: challenge, discussion, HIV, HIV-negative, HIV-positive, stigma
janvier 7, 2009 14:45
Anonymous, you bring up an interesting point around the amount of us HIV negative men there are that aren’t actually aware of our current HIV status. A great deal of that lack of knowledge has to do with misinformation about transmission of HIV, and also the fear and stigma around getting tested regularly. I agree that perhaps if regular HIV testing was a more common practice, and part of peoples routine health check ups, maybe there would be a shift in attitudes around HIV in our community. 20% is a big number to not have everyone on board with safer sex practices, and regular testing. Stigma, shame, and an unrealistic sense of distance is really keeping many of us HIV negative from keeping ourselves healthy. That same stigma and shame keeps HIV positive guys from feeling safe to disclose, and from practicing consistent safer sex behaviours with partners too. Not great on both our parts. Again, we all need to be working on this together, and not seeing one another as the enemy in order to properly do this however.
janvier 5, 2009 23:43
As an OUT poz gay man, the stigma that exists is in part fueled by the actions of some poz people (come out of that closet). Bring in mantatory testing for everyone and stamp the result on your Health Card, then watch how fast we all (both poz and neg) unite to eliminate stigma. Stats show 20% of MSM in Toronto are poz with similiar stats for London, (slightly lower for) Ottawa etc, and 30% of poz people not even knowing there status due to a lack of a current test.
décembre 29, 2008 12:02
I think this very simple question is one of the key aspects of why HIV stigma is present in the gay men’s community. HIV is only one aspect of who I am and it’s quite likely that someone who is HIV negative will understand and connect with me on other levels as much or more than a POZ guy. However, there are aspects of living with HIV that are simply impossible to fully understand without the lived experience. Having said that, there are aspects of being negative that after 17 and a half years of being POZ, I would suggest are simply not possible for me to understand. The opportunity is, as you state David, in the discussion. As long as we can be willing to discuss and respect one another, growth is possible. Having the insight to recognize when and how our conversations are shutting someone down (even when we’re not intending that to happen), is the critical piece that is not always there. I think that’s what this site is helpful at providing - the support and insight that help to keep us talking.
décembre 19, 2008 04:45
I think we can always try. I don’t think there is a definitive answer as to if poz and neg guys can fully understand one another. I think it all varies based on individuals. I certainly learn on this site, and most certainly in exchanges I have had with you in particular.
I think poz/neg interaction is like any other set of exchanges that take place across an undeniable divide of social power. Both sides have much to offer and much to learn. In any of these kinds of situations, I try to learn when it makes sense to speak, and when it makes sense to listen.
décembre 17, 2008 06:36
Hi David I think their is always an opportunity in challenge.
Your very smart! Not many see things this way. Perhaps I will direct you to Bob’s post on depression.
Walked right over the opportunity.
Often in life, the “Davids” of the world cower in the face of “Goliath” called opportunity.
They become afraid of what they may learn (understand). Often it is not about the subject but rather, what they may learn about themselves.
It is much easier to run from controversy and to submit to the disempowering structure.
Self examination requires change as we have discussed on this site some “People”, “Organizations”, and “Communities” just don’t want to or know how to change.
In order to understand or be willing to understand you must first accept that that change is going to happen.
If you are not willing to change then will you be willing to understand?