Stigma on the net
Below is an article I wrote several years ago for GayGuideToronto.com that I wanted to share. It touches on how as a community of gay men, we often interact on the internet in ways that contribute to HIV stigma.
HIV+
GM
LKG
4
SEX
A few years ago at the Toronto Pride celebrations, a very sexy man was wearing a T-shirt with the above caption. A take off on the many forms of classified ads that we thrive on in the gay community. It was so perfectly in your face that of course I had to get one.
Anonymous advertising allows gay men to say things that they might never say in public. Somehow, the idea that they might actually meet someone who has read their ad and therefore has certain expectations (like that you’re 6’2” when you’re just pushing 5”10 or that you’ve got 8 inches when it’s closer to 5) doesn’t seem to register.
Apparently men also seem to think that classified and internet jargon is a safe way to be insulting. Of course I understand that if you are into a scene or look, you might as well let people know that up front. It limits the responses you have to wade through. However, there are ways to do and not do this. I’ve been chatting with guys who’ve asked if I was clean. Well, no as a matter of fact, I just got in from mucking the pigs. Of course I’m clean! If you mean am I HIV positive, of course I am but ask what you mean. What you’re saying is that I’m dirty or unclean because I’m HIV positive. I would have thought even the most insensitive person could see how insulting that is.
Another common classified phrase is HIV-UB2. My emotions are a little more complicated on this one. I am beginning to understand the more subtle fears and emotions that might contribute to a negative person’s desire to limit there interactions to negative boys. From my experience, I do see this attitude as somewhat dangerous in most incidents. What is it that you would do differently if the guy were positive? If anything came to mind for you, you’re taking some pretty significant risks. Does the person know for sure if they’re negative or do they just not know that they’re positive?
Two of my friends who tested positive last summer have discussed with me the fact that the rejection rate for positive guys on the internet is disproportionately high compared to other venues where gay men meet. Again, this is not surprising to me. It is much easier to turn someone down on the computer when you have several other guys you’re chatting with at the same time and when all of them are basically just a picture on the screen.
Of course some of the jargon and internet situations trigger all sorts of personal emotions for me. If I’m single, they can emphasize my fears and insecurities about ever finding someone that would be interested in “damaged goods” like me. The person using classified jargon likely doesn’t realize how the phrases perpetuate concepts like people living with HIV being “damaged goods”.
There is a whole classified jargon that I am slowly starting to understand through discussions with friends. While generous, I’m not likely to pay for sex and party favours in my mind are the little birthday hats and streamers that decorate the tacky baby shower type of party. If I can commit to learning more about this jargon and being honest in my communications, do you think that others might consider being a little more conscientious about how there jargon contributes to an environment of stigma, hurt and division in our community?
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It’s interesting how so many individuals are giving data on how HIV is acquired. On a recent MSM Health article it was noted that one way to acquire HIV is to have sex with a HIV positive person. No mention of safe sex practices. I think we should have a ‘watch dog’ that checks out web data as it pertains to HIV/AIDS.
October 29, 2008 07:30 PM
Well, I have to say, that in all reality, other than http://www.pozmatch.com or http://www.pozpersonals.com I DONT put that I am POZ only because of stigma.
Granted, I do, click if available that “POZ GUYS OK” so it at least gives an idea that its all good.
Forturnetly, I have never had any issues regarding status, and living in Toronto area.. there are alot more than choose to say.. because of the STIGMA which is very sad..
For example, I cant ever remember any time going into the toronto POZ room on Gay.com, and seeing a soul in there.. again, STIGMA and VERY close to home..
October 28, 2008 02:10 PM
Murray. You make a good point. We tend to think of ourselves as either being out or not, somebody who discloses to sex partners (and others) or doesn’t. Yet for me and I suspect others our behaviour is a mix, based on who, how and why we are inertcting. You say its almost unconscious but not quite - and it’s how we process the “not quite” bit that interests me.
I think personally I’m still searching for the answer. You’d think I’d know by now . .
October 28, 2008 12:53 PM
Interesting, the comment about the fear and anxiety about clicking that button that identifies you as poz in your profile. It really speaks to the stigma that is out there. People assume that you get over it but even people like myself who are way way way out there:), have a moment of evaluation in every situation about whether to disclose and identify ourselves as poz. It’s so fast that it almost becomes subconscious. Almost, but not quite. When you place that situation in the internet context, it becomes even more difficult because people don’t know you at all so they are judging you based on these factors that you’ve identifies yourself with. Of course being poz is one of them for many of us but then that becomes the overriding identifyer for many. My identity includes much more than just being a poz person.
October 24, 2008 06:09 PM
F antasized E xperience A ppearing R eal
Sadly in the reality it is
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October 24, 2008 02:07 PM
Poz,
Your points about “poz” profiles are interesting and really hit home with me as well. In fact, the stigma issue rings so true at my end. I guess the best example of this is the actual “fear” and discomfort I feel when I click on the POZ GUY attribute button. The fact that my stomach knots up when I do so speaks volumes!! It eventually subsides, but it’s always there.
October 24, 2008 08:23 AM
I think if every POZ guy posted a POZ named profile on chat/dating sites (granted photos can not always be put up). But if evey POZ guy on this planet put up a POZ profile NEG guys may just realise how many POZ guys are around. I think POZ guys have been to quite in this realm for far to long. Granted I was like that also but my POZ profile is filtering out all the guys I dont want to meet anyway. You know its also lifting my spirits as REAL/HOT/WARM/TEMPID guys are sending kisses and flames, I read their profile and I find that they are POZ to and don’t feel so rejected. Others POZ profiles give me strength to keep my POZ profile up.
Sure I dont get a flood of messages like a non POZ profile but I have stuck with it and its paying off.
I think its also having NEG guys understand that hhhmmmm POZ guys are standing up for themselfs. They are in our community in the flesh and on line. Maybee I should talk about it to my mates, on line or in person.
It would be great to see the reality of the numbers of POZ guys in “on line chat rooms”.
Now would that be a slap in the face or a slice of reality cake? for all those using their windows or is that their gaydar?
October 23, 2008 02:13 PM
Murray:
I agree with you about the feeling of “damaged good”. I get the same feeling. I think dating sites particularly enhance this feeling, because, in my opinion, people get treated on these sites as goods. Damaged or not, they are sorted and shopped for. How many times have you seen a little window open on a chat and a completely unknown person out of the blue asks for your “stats” or “what are you into”. Straight forward and pragmatic. It is not about meeting people anymore, but about shopping for them. And who would want to shop for a damaged good, if there are so many squeaky brand new ones on display?
They sort by HIV status, but they also sort by race. Although kind of white looking I am Latin and I have African ancestors, distant but certain, which have brought their contribution to who I am and how I look, so I am very proud of them. So when I see an ad saying GWM ISO GWM I feel rejected by my race. I just cannot believe that in the 21st century people still refers to race.
Yes, people have preferences. And yes, they have the right to say anything they want as long as they don’t affect someone else’s live. They can even say they are fascists. That is freedom of speech.
But would it be cool to have a bar only for GWM that like GWM? It would be a scandal. Probably it would be even illegal. Probably the same picky and race explicit GWM would think it is offensive and immoral. The same would apply to an HIV- only bar.
So, why do they feel OK when they put it on their personal ad? Sign that there is a breach we have not filled yet. Everybody knows the drill: no discrimination based on sex, race, sexual orientation, etc. But oops, mind the gap between what they say and what they actually think.
October 22, 2008 06:00 PM
As always Murray, well articulated and very true. It seems like the internet is a place where people feel safe to voice thoughts however ignorant and/or prejudiced. The marginalizing posts made on many chat sites seem to leave many people in our community feeling isolated; elder men, those with differed abilities, people living with HIV and of course people of colour. I’m always shocked to see rejection and discrimination played out by our own GLBT communities, who’ve all likely experienced this themselves in the mainstream heterosexual community. Funny, I wonder why behaviour and beliefs that we’ve pretty much come to understand is not okay in public, has come to be okay in the privacy of our homes and keyboards.
October 22, 2008 05:41 PM
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NOTE: Brain Included-UB2